In this moment on Sunday, I’m sad.

@Katja Faber - a dazzling #keynotespeaker at this years #Leagueofleadingladies Conference on the Art of Abundance

@Grandhotelbadragaz - fabulously identified, named, and shared brilliant examples on toxic positivity.

To quickly become familiar with the term, toxic positivity - imagine being afraid of feeling or seeing other people feel certain emotions - toxic positivity is about talking (bossing) ourselves out of “negative” emotions, polarizing emotions, and prioritizing “positive” emotions.

For example: have you ever caught yourself saying or hearing things wrapped with good intentions (and being ultimately dismissive) like ; “this situation is here to help you grow” or “you will learn a ton out of this” or “be strong” or “you manifested it, how can benefit from it?“

And as humans when we are in rut - such as toxic positivity is the best we can offer ourselves and give to others - we are sometimes curious about alternatives.

So here’s one alternative I love to use to support myself when my inner being is in discomfort.

Context: Yesterday I’ve just said bye to my daughter. This summer she spends 5 weeks with her Dad. Next summer she spends 5 weeks with me. Life of a #singleparent. #SVAMV @SVAMV

Even though this arrangement is years old, I mourn again and again.

My body and mind take time to adjust, and as Life has taught me, it is my job not only to care for my daughter, it is also my job to mother me, and kindly nurse me through this transition.

So what do I do? How do I care for my mourning self? How do I gently, kindly, tenderly generously mother me?

I :

(1) notice uncomfortable sensations.

(2) name what emotions are in my body, I listen to what thoughts are tucked in with in the emotion.

(3) give all of those thoughts and sensations permission to be here.

(4) notice any internal panic, threatening, or toxic thoughts towards these emotions, like: “I won’t come out if this” “this is taking up too much energy” “I don’t have the time to deal with this now” and I gently and with integrity write these down and inquire into these.

(5) ask myself what it is that I need right now?

Today, the answer was hike up to Seealpsee, and to give me space to meditate, to be still, to be surrounded by beauty in nature, to identify thoughts showing up, to meet the wisdom within, to meet these thoughts with understanding, to eat nourishing food, to get to bed by ten, and give those thoughts the capacity to let go of me.

And so I did that.

And sitting by the lake, powerful BS (Belief Systems) showed up like:

“This is proof that there is something wrong with my life”

And as I inquired (practice of meditation) into it, I noticed how, meeting the thought with understanding I stayed in question three until the body was ready to move on. Sometimes it takes moments, sometimes minutes, sometimes days, and I’ve even spend months meditating on How Do I React, What Happens When I Belief that thought?

When the body is ready to move on, it slips into (or eagerly welcomes) Who or What Would I Be Without That Thought?

to experience the sensation of sadness without the thought is like swimming in milk chocolate : Inside my body it was smooth, kind, lush, sweet and safe.

Open.

Still.

Connected.

Delighted.

Presence.

And when the body is ready… I gently slip into

How Can an Opposite Be Equally True or Truer?

Such as:

“This is proof that there is something perfectly right with my life”

For example:

• my daughters father is delighted to take the 4 weeks off to spend this time with her.

• My daughter is delighted to spend these 5 weeks with her Dad

• I’m so exited to have these five weeks to work, wellness, hike, swim, read, and offer my fabulous offerings to the world.

And my being unites in feeling so gentle, integral, generous, and kind, to experience safety with what is. Without force, or superstition, self-righteousness, or pressure or manipulating myself out of (freaking myself out of sadness (like; “If I don’t stop feeling this sensation I’ll drown in sadness“ aka toxic positivity)

Connected.

And every time the internal trust grows.

And that grows the trust with the circumstance.

And that grows the connection to what is.

And the sensations of being held in a friendly universe.

And then again ….abundance reigns and this being begins to delight in what is all over again.

So next time, you’re afraid of feeling a sensation or witnessing someone experiencing an uncomfortable sensation, I invite you to get still and feel, to be present with the sensation.

When it seems debilitating, I offer courses on how to kindly, gently, and effectively do this. Just ask.

And who knows, maybe “the depths of suffering can equal the heights of joy” can ring a true experience for you too.

Thank you for being here.

I’m adoration

Your Tammy

… and I’d love to read from you; share with me: what resonates you? what hangs around your heart? Does revolt show up, what does it sound like? Share them all with me!

#emotionaloverwhelm #emotionalsecurity #connectwithemotions

#toxicpositivity #alternative #rewire

#triving #joy #lovingwhatis

#cpd #emotionalintelligence

#wisdomforleaders

#thework #tammyketura

#swissladiesdrive #dreamincolor #businesssisterhood