What people think about me, is on them. What I think about others, is on me.

How many times have you heard the thought:

“Don’t say that about them!”

“Don’t let them hear that!”

“What are they saying about me?!”

“How could they?!”

We see ….peoples reactions to what others say about them in the media,

while playing in the sandbox ….we experienced the first sensations of betrayal,

while listening to adults taking over tea …we witnessed how hurtful it is when others think and say mean things about us,

in toxic relationships …we can begin to care even more about what others think about us, as if our security depended on them seeing us the way we see ourselves…

What if it’s all backwards?

What people think about me is on them; what I think about them is on me.

At first I rejected this wisdom as “being too simple”, as “being too limited”, and as “being too radical”.

Then, as I got still and witnessed the worlds that opened up.

I saw how I reacted towards them when I started believing I could influence what they thought of me. I was harsh and judgemental. Then I witnessed how I treated me with harsh judgmental words. My experience of reality became harsh and judgmental. I became caught in a spiral outside of myself.

Mesmerizingly, the spiral itself was proof that something should be different… that they should see the kindness with which I act, design, and conduct my day.

Self-pity comes with a toxic sweetness. It provides all the proof in the world, and it creates its own world. It is not reality. It creates a facade of reality.

And in that space, I noticed, my thoughts about them shamed my experience of reality. Taking those seriously, opened up my capacity.

That crated space again for limitless connection.

Connection beyond right and wrong; beyond knowing; beyond “I need to prove”.

That connection is peace embodied. It acts in appreciation and humility to all life.

We are one.