Setting Boundaries with integrity.

“A No to you is a Yes to me, a Yes to you is a Yes to me; I am a Yes woman”. Byron Katie

The guilt, shame, and sensations of failure were so strong that I dared not say no to you. This kept me in a cycle of obligation and feeling intimidated from my own honesty. Sometimes, we are taught to lean into our integrity and feel for our Yes and our No. Sometimes, self-trust is weakened so much, that even that process furthers confusion. Perhaps the intimidation is so big that we cannot see that additional information is needed. When time is a factor and pressure exits, this situation can feel like a deadlock. Anxiety, frustration, and self-hate can increase, and then debilitation can rule.

What about reaching out to bring yourself home: to clear up internal misunderstandings, to address intimidation, to create space for clarity reign, and to integrative your being?

Setting a boundary out of fear, creates more of what the boundary is there to protect us from.

Setting a boundary out of love, opens us up to receive what is, and care for ourselves and others in intimate, real, and unique ways that deeply matter.

By setting a boundary we can either shrink or expand our capacity; how we treat ourselves during the boundary setting process will determine this.

It is the small things that matter; they lay the foundation for the big ones.